{"product_id":"never-stop-dating-your-spouse","title":"Never Stop Dating Your Spouse","description":"\u003ch2\u003eOne photo, two memories\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"ebook-scenes\"\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-12-three-dates.jpg?v=1794103482\"\u003e\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1320\" height=\"880\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-12-three-dates.jpg?v=1794103482\u0026amp;width=1100\" alt=\"Three dates you can have at home: look through old photos and tell a story the camera missed, trade three songs each, or spread a blanket for a living-room picnic.\"\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-12-three-dates.jpg?v=1794103482\"\u003eOpen the date card at full size\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat do you remember that isn’t in this picture?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePull up an old photo together. Maybe it’s the night you ate pizza on the floor of your first apartment. You remember the pizza being cold. Your partner remembers being too happy to care. You were both there, but you get to hear their side of that night for the first time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTake turns telling one detail outside the frame. Then ask, “Which part would you like to do again?” If you don’t have the photo, start with “Do you remember when…?” \u003csmall\u003eAdapted from The Old Photos Date, p. 99.\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg loading=\"lazy\" width=\"1320\" height=\"880\" src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-11-ask-me-to-dance.jpg?width=1100\" alt=\"Would you still ask me to dance? One spouse holds out a hand as a record plays.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe invitation you almost skipped\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour spouse once told you they hated dancing. Years later, a song comes on in the kitchen and you nearly let it play out. What if what they hated was a room full of people watching? The two of you in socks might get a different answer. You could hold out your hand and find out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e“A marriage can feel stale simply because we keep talking to an outdated version of each other.” \u003csmall\u003eChapter 2, p. 10\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwo more invitations for this week:\u003c\/strong\u003e Take a walk with no errands and let each other choose the turns. Or make breakfast for dinner and play a song you remember from when you met.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhen “yes” still isn’t what you hoped to hear\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou suggest a walk after dinner. Your partner gets their coat. It should feel good, so why does it sting a little? Maybe you didn’t need a more enthusiastic yes. Maybe, just once, you wanted them to be the one who asked.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cblockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe person may stop asking not because they no longer want closeness, but because they want evidence that they are wanted without having to request it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eChapter 36 · The One Who Always Initiates · p. 78\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe book offers a way to say it before it becomes a silent test: “I need you to initiate sometimes because it helps me feel chosen.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003ca href=\"\/pages\/when-you-always-plan-the-date\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRead three free excerpts: being asked, sharing the remembering, and taking a pause\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdetails class=\"ebook-more\"\u003e\u003csummary\u003eExplore seven more illustrated ideas from the book\u003c\/summary\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"ebook-scenes\"\u003e\n\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-04-the-whole-job.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Who has to remember? One partner holds a shirt while the couple folds laundry beside a basket.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eThe work starts before the laundry does.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf one of you spots the empty drawer, sorts the clothes and asks the other to run a load, the wash is shared. The remembering still belongs to one person. Pick one recurring job and take responsibility for noticing, planning and finishing it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “They are tired from being the person who keeps the map in their head.” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 22)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-05-the-familiar-cup.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"The five-hundredth cup of coffee The couple lean toward each other over their coffee cups at a small table.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat became ordinary because someone kept doing it?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThink of something your partner does so reliably that you only notice when it stops. Tell them what it made possible today. You can appreciate the coffee and still have a separate, honest talk about who washes up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “The first time someone makes you coffee exactly the way you like it, it can feel intimate. The five-hundredth time, it can become part of the furniture.” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 12)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-06-a-hug.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"A hug that gets to be just a hug The couple sit close on an ivory sofa, shoulders touching.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eLeave the next move up to them.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAfter a day of being needed, even a loving touch can feel like another request. Ask whether they would like a hug, company or a little room. If they choose a hug, let it end there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “Sometimes the most intimate touch is the one that asks for nothing afterward.” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 19)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-07-the-apology.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"You can apologize and still disagree. The two partners turn toward each other on separate chairs, one hand resting on the other’s arm.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhich part do you actually regret?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eImagine that you are still upset about a missed pickup. You can own the way you spoke without withdrawing the request. Come back to the pickup after you have dealt with the sharp words.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “I am still frustrated, but I do not want to talk to you like that.” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 24)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-08-hear-the-idea.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Understanding an idea isn’t agreeing to it. The couple walk side by side holding hands.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eLet an unfinished thought into the conversation.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour partner mentions changing careers. Before either of you has to defend a decision, ask what first drew them to it. You can listen to their answer and still have questions about the rent.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book, p. 40:\u003c\/em\u003e “I want to understand why this matters to you” is not the same as “yes.”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-09-the-same-year.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"One hard year. Two different stories. The couple sit together on a simple bench, leaning their heads toward one another.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eOne of you remembers teamwork. The other remembers being alone.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBoth can be telling the truth about the same months. A question from the book makes room for the part you could not see. Let the answer stand before offering your own version.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “What did that season cost you that I may not fully understand?” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 69)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\u003cfigure\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-line-10-an-ordinary-saturday.jpg?width=1000\" width=\"1200\" height=\"840\" loading=\"lazy\" alt=\"Picture an ordinary Saturday, ten years from now. The couple kneel together beside a small potted plant and water it.\"\u003e\u003cfigcaption\u003e\u003ch3\u003eStart with the morning, before you make a bucket list.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhere are you when you wake up? Who makes breakfast? What is there finally time for? Each describe a Saturday worth getting older for. See if one small part of it belongs in this weekend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFrom the book:\u003c\/em\u003e “What would your ideal ordinary Saturday look like ten years from now?” \u003csmall\u003e(p. 107)\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/figcaption\u003e\u003c\/figure\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/details\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhat you’ll find inside\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e45 short chapters\u003c\/strong\u003e on shared responsibilities, affection, repair, friendship, and the ways a partnership changes through caregiving, illness and an empty nest.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e70 easy date ideas\u003c\/strong\u003e for different budgets and energy levels, from a takeaway tasting on the floor to a drive with two coffees.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e50 conversation starters\u003c\/strong\u003e you can open at random and read aloud. Try “What would your ideal ordinary Saturday look like ten years from now?”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eWritten for adults in committed relationships, married or unmarried, with or without children. Read it alone, trade a marked passage, or pick a chapter together. The suggestions assume both partners feel safe and can freely say yes or no.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Easy Drawing Ideas","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":68006766739765,"sku":"SKU12345","price":22.0,"currency_code":"CAD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0889\/4657\/3621\/files\/nsd-01-book-cover.jpg?v=1794096876","url":"https:\/\/easydrawingideas.ca\/products\/never-stop-dating-your-spouse","provider":"Easy Drawing Ideas","version":"1.0","type":"link"}